![]() But it doesn't whisk me back to the wider art world instead, it takes me to the work of Roger Dean, whose ‘art’, if indeed it can be deemed as such (it absolutely cannot), used to hold court in the mildewed basements of prog-rock bores. This work, entitled ‘The Outer Worlds’, isn’t outer in the slightest it spirits me backwards in time to the sharp shoulders of the 1980s. Whilst I’m here, though, I must note the irony of the title ‘Modern Warfare’ above a man sporting the sort of facial hair last glimpsed at the Battle of the Somme. I don’t review stills from advertisements for the armed forces I’m sending this sample back to my venerable hosts on the grounds that they have accidentally sent me an advert. This image is the single most boring image that I have ever looked at in my life. And anyway, why is tradesman wielding a torch, and why has he found himself, through some cosmic joke, the owner of a mansion – nay, of three mansions? This work is utterly bereft of life and spirit. No, there's nothing here – the faintest suggestion of Edvard Munch isn’t enough to coax me into a state of acceptance. ![]() The gloopy morass lurking at the top of the frame of this ‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ would likely provide as effective a service as a flesh and blood plumber, and would likely cause less mess. What grotesque individuals these plumbers are. I imagine he thinks he can fool me by changing colours from yellow (which he wore then) to green.Ī similar trick was played on me by the actual plumber that visited me back then – changing the colour of the various bits of boring tubing in my boiler cupboard and informing me that it was a ‘proper biggun’ of a job. And, to my own personally insulted sensibilities, I also notice a familiar face: this figure on the front is one half of that pair of reprehensible plumbers that I saw and dismissed back in June. Instead, what I find here is the bastardisation of history. Whilst I would enjoy, with no greater relish, being able to inform you that this work seduced my senses with its reverence for Norweigian Expressionism, alas – I cannot. If you ever wondered what The Scream, by Edvard Munch, would look like if it were recast by a computer, stripped of its surreal fever, and included a clone of its subject made from green goo, then look no further than the box art for Luigi’s Mansion 3. I may consider giving another lecture today, and perhaps making it an ongoing series – it depends if this month’s crop offers sufficient inspiration. I have answered their questions or, at least, I have chosen the questions that have least offended me and answered those. To my surprise and delight, there has been a steady trickle of passersby who have presumed that I am putting on a show of sorts. I now sit cross-legged on the cold wood of the gallery floor, with this month’s samples spread about me. Ten minutes in, however, and I find myself growing tired of A Bar at the Folies-Bergère and hungry for some game box art. In any case, security didn’t seem to want to argue with me this time, and threw their hands up, allowing me access to the gallery. I informed them that I once gave a lecture at the Courtauld – an impromptu one, to a huddled crowd, before the same philistines in security came to ‘break it up’ – as though an art education, like a protest, is something that can be ‘broken up’. Then, once inside, one of the neanderthals in security asked me if I had a valid pass. I had to barge my way past a slouching gaggle of camera-wielding tourists as I made my way through the front courtyard. It is supposed to be a self-governing college of the University of London, but I assure you there is nothing self-governing about it. ![]() This month’s bundle of box art has reached me as I lounge in the Courtauld. Put simply, he’s a man that needs no introduction. If you are unaware of his prowess, rest assured he’s on a crusade to educate the unwashed. In between his time spent wandering the corridors of culture, Merriweather writes on a freelance basis for various publications, including Snitters and Nuneaton à la Carte. Each month, we invite élite art critic Braithwaite Merriweather to appraise the box art of the latest game releases.
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